November 4, 2010

white horse

I have been feeling a little moody. A little out of it. And a little frustrated. So many things are changing so fast and I feel like at times I can't keep up. I am happy, don't get me wrong. In many aspects my life is better than ever, yet I feel distant. In a rut of sorts.

-I have been running the business all week by myself. Dad is out of town and I am in charge. It feels good, and it feels nice. But I miss him.

-I have been eating better and exercising. It feels so good to be able to pull my zipper ALL the way UP again.

-I have met the most amazing person. He makes me happy every single day and I can't believe I am lucky enough to say that we were friends FIRST.

-I have almost everything together for "a bit of lace", my Etsy shoppe. It feels good to have it all out of the way. Now I'm just waiting for November 11th. 11-11, make a wish. I am so nervous and excited. I just want to share my love with the world.
-I finally bought myself a Canon Rebel. I have been wanting and wanting and wanting. Last night I opened the box and snapped some photos. I was beyond excited.

-I am still working two jobs. Even though I promised myself I would quit... I just can't give up cooking professionally. I love it too much.

But even after all these GREAT and AMAZING things, I feel lonely. I am not really certain why. I started blogging to share myself and share my heart. A little insight into what makes me happy, in hopes to maybe make some amazing friends. And I really really have. I have been so blessed. But I am not sure what comes next.

So I need your help.

Tell me WHO you are. What you're working on. And what more you want from me, on my blog.



  1. thanks for sharing. you do an incredible job at sharing your life with others and i can't think of anything more a reader could ask.

    i can always answer what i do but never who i am. guess i'm still searching for that. i'm working on being a better wife.. along with several photography projects.. some wedding related, and some benefiting my kids in haiti.

    it's probably one of the busiest times of my life. i have lots to be grateful for and plenty of wonderful people in my life.. yet i think busyness makes me most distant from God.. Even though i'm happily married, I can often times find myself very lonely because of it.

  2. I LOVE YOU BBF! So happy about this boy! And sooo excited for your shop!!! AH!!!! Congrats on finally getting your camera! Bet that feels so amaizng! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! I would like to see more fashion/outfit posts!!! You have a ginormous closet full of clothes! <333

  3. You are such a beautiful person Shawni!!!!
    I wish you were right here!!
    I would give you a big bear *hug*!!!!!
    You work SOOO hard and you stay so positive!!!
    P.S. I looove that you are opening your shop on 11-11!!!! Too cute!!
    much much much love,

  4. I'm so excited to see what your Etsy shop has to offer! <3

  5. I'm so happy for all of the positive things happening in your life.
    I know the feeling of loneliness. I'm never alone, but I'm constantly lonely. Blogging and meeting all of my great blogging friends has kept me sane while being a stay-at-home mom. I'm so happy to have met you, you're such a sweetheart! I'm glad we have become friends :)
    I'm working on moving haha! I'm hoping I can start being creative again once the move is over. I think it will really help my sanity.

  6. That photo is such a perfect Fall photo. Congrats on all the exciting things happening for you right now! Best wishes for the future!

  7. This is an intimidating question! I sometimes feel like maybe we are ALWAYS in a rut because naturally, we always want more for ourselves. When you can pin the rut on something... no boyfriend, bad job, bad grade, whatever, we just deflect and blame. When things are going good... what can we blame it on?

  8. Hi Shawni, thanks for dropping by my blog!

    It sounds like you have some wonderful things going on in your life - so keep your mind on those things and everything will fall into place.

    I'm in the middle of picking up my life after having a not so great year. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

  9. hang in there. i've learned that there is only so much you can plan ahead for. sometimes you just need to let life takes it course. and that's the great thing about it. life is full of mysteries and it's all just one great big adventure.

    embrace it.
    don't fear it.


  10. What a lovely blog. I'm new here, sent from Diana over at ourcitylights. Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly!

    The good thing about being in a rut is knowing that you're going to come through on the other side eventually. And it'll all be double rainbows when you do. :)

  11. You are such an amazing person, with a beautiful heart. I'm so happy for you & the boy! It's so nice to be friends first :). I can't wait to see your shop - I'm beyond excited!! Congrats on the new camera (i just sold my canon rebel & i'm very sad). I love your blog so much! It's beautiful & so inspiring! I have to agree with Michelle (2nd post). I LOVE your fashion posts! You have an amazing wardrobe, from what I have seen on here :). xoxo

  12. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog because now I have found yours! It's adorable and I think we should be blog buds. I loved your California post...sometimes it's easy to forget just how diverse and amazing Cali can be! I know how you feel about getting in a rut and feeling a bit lonely--I have those times too. Just remember that life always goes on, the rut will pass and things will get better!

  13. Such wonderful and exciting news in your life! I have felt that way before. I was so lonely yet, I was surrounded by people all the time. I didn't know what to do, so I went into my closet and cried and prayed. I then felt so peaceful and felt like God is always with us. So we never have to feel alone.I think your blog is lovely! Keep doing what your doing, it's fabulous!

  14. Shawni, I love your blog and that you have jumped into the community whole heartedly. :) Your warm, kind personality really comes across. Keep it up! :)

  15. Yay! very exciting.

    My name is Sophie, I am a long time ready and a shy commenter. I live in New Zealand, it is so beautiful. But like you I feel like I was born in the wrong place (kind of). My real dream is to travel to africa and love on people over there. I am young (21) and have a husband already, we have nearly been married 2 years. I knit, sew and glue things together. I am mostly happy, and thats why I think I like your blog so much. You are so busy, but so bubbly at the same time.

    I want to see more of that!